Accelerating Racial Justice 2014
I practice Racial Justice and Inclusive Leadership by understanding them as both goals and on-going processes that are rooted in continual learning and authentic relationships.
I'm standing in a row of people. We're all holding hands, and we're all equals. As I look on either side of me, I see the faces of my friends, all open to the experience we're about to have.
The first statement is read. "Step forward if the people who raised you told you that you're beautiful, smart, talented, and loved."
Almost everyone steps forward. I feel good about this question until I look down to the very end of the line and see one person who hasn't moved.
"Step forward if you have never been called names because of your race."
"Step backwards if you have ever been followed in a store."
People started to drop hands, unable to reach the ones that were originally next to them.
"Step forward if you have ever attended a private school."
"Step backwards if you have ever been stopped or harassed by a police officer."
It continued like this for what felt like ages. Our line wasn't a line anymore, it was just people standing in an empty parking lot. One participant, a black man, stood so far back that he couldn't hear the phrases being said through a megaphone.
Some people stood so far ahead that they had reached the edge of the parking lot and could hardly go farther.
I stood near the back, in the bottom third. I was fighting back tears as the people in the front turned around to look at me with what looked like pity in their eyes.
There was a very clear racial divide. Almost every single white person was in the top third.
Someone gestured to a tree in the front of the parking lot. "If this was the finish line, who do you think would end up winning this race?"
The Accelerating Racial Justice retreat was probably the best experience of my life. Never before have I been in such a safe space surrounded by smart, understanding, open, and incredible people. On this five day intensive retreat at the beautiful Grailville Retreat Center, I learned more about myself, my heritage, and my own life experience than I ever thought possible.
The retreat is open to all UC students, so I met people ranging from a freshman who still hadn't taken his first college class to several graduate students studying advanced engineering. During my first year at UC, I was only ever around other people in the honors program since I lived in honors housing, and people in my classes. I'd never been part of such a diverse learning group; people ranging from 18 to 28, of several different races and ethnicities and genders. It made it easy to understand that everyone has a different story, everyone carries a different weight with them, a different privilege.
I chose to participate in this experience because of my passion for social justice, particularly racial justice. Of all of my social identities, the one I have been most affected by is my race. I have gone from being ashamed to being defiant to being proud, and I want to help ensure that my own future children never have to be ashamed of who they are like I was for such a long time. During my freshman year, whenever I would express this passion, I would always get the same response: "Have you talked to Rebecca Lehman? Have you heard of RAPP?" I knew that I had to get involved as soon as possible, but at that time, RAPP was already well underway. The next possible experience was Accelerating Racial Justice.
The experience greatly exceeded my expectations, which is saying a lot because my expectations were that it would be amazing. It completely blew me away. I was able to contribute my own experience, and I finally felt like I was in a space where I was valued. I really connected with my identity as an immigrant. Because I was born in India, but moved here at such a young age, I am in a perpetual state of feeling like I don't belong anywhere I go. I don't belong in India, I don't belong in the States, and I never quite feel like I am at home. It's not an easy thing to deal with. ARJ gave me a home that I can carry with me. It gave me a safe space for my unique identity. It gave me connections that I will hopefully never lose, because what we have been through together isn't something that dissolves over time.
ARJ taught me to take care of myself, which is a priceless gift. It taught me that my experience is valid and the way I feel is valid. It allowed me to share my knowledge of social justice and the way that it connects to my own experience. The experience was priceless to me, and I miss it every day of my life. It made me realize that law isn't the path for me; I want to directly combat oppression and social disadvantage by going to the very start, the public school system. I finally feel at home in my own skin and my own identity, and that's something I wouldn't give up for the world.
I'm standing in a row of people. We're all holding hands, and we're all equals. As I look on either side of me, I see the faces of my friends, all open to the experience we're about to have.
The first statement is read. "Step forward if the people who raised you told you that you're beautiful, smart, talented, and loved."
Almost everyone steps forward. I feel good about this question until I look down to the very end of the line and see one person who hasn't moved.
"Step forward if you have never been called names because of your race."
"Step backwards if you have ever been followed in a store."
People started to drop hands, unable to reach the ones that were originally next to them.
"Step forward if you have ever attended a private school."
"Step backwards if you have ever been stopped or harassed by a police officer."
It continued like this for what felt like ages. Our line wasn't a line anymore, it was just people standing in an empty parking lot. One participant, a black man, stood so far back that he couldn't hear the phrases being said through a megaphone.
Some people stood so far ahead that they had reached the edge of the parking lot and could hardly go farther.
I stood near the back, in the bottom third. I was fighting back tears as the people in the front turned around to look at me with what looked like pity in their eyes.
There was a very clear racial divide. Almost every single white person was in the top third.
Someone gestured to a tree in the front of the parking lot. "If this was the finish line, who do you think would end up winning this race?"
The Accelerating Racial Justice retreat was probably the best experience of my life. Never before have I been in such a safe space surrounded by smart, understanding, open, and incredible people. On this five day intensive retreat at the beautiful Grailville Retreat Center, I learned more about myself, my heritage, and my own life experience than I ever thought possible.
The retreat is open to all UC students, so I met people ranging from a freshman who still hadn't taken his first college class to several graduate students studying advanced engineering. During my first year at UC, I was only ever around other people in the honors program since I lived in honors housing, and people in my classes. I'd never been part of such a diverse learning group; people ranging from 18 to 28, of several different races and ethnicities and genders. It made it easy to understand that everyone has a different story, everyone carries a different weight with them, a different privilege.
I chose to participate in this experience because of my passion for social justice, particularly racial justice. Of all of my social identities, the one I have been most affected by is my race. I have gone from being ashamed to being defiant to being proud, and I want to help ensure that my own future children never have to be ashamed of who they are like I was for such a long time. During my freshman year, whenever I would express this passion, I would always get the same response: "Have you talked to Rebecca Lehman? Have you heard of RAPP?" I knew that I had to get involved as soon as possible, but at that time, RAPP was already well underway. The next possible experience was Accelerating Racial Justice.
The experience greatly exceeded my expectations, which is saying a lot because my expectations were that it would be amazing. It completely blew me away. I was able to contribute my own experience, and I finally felt like I was in a space where I was valued. I really connected with my identity as an immigrant. Because I was born in India, but moved here at such a young age, I am in a perpetual state of feeling like I don't belong anywhere I go. I don't belong in India, I don't belong in the States, and I never quite feel like I am at home. It's not an easy thing to deal with. ARJ gave me a home that I can carry with me. It gave me a safe space for my unique identity. It gave me connections that I will hopefully never lose, because what we have been through together isn't something that dissolves over time.
ARJ taught me to take care of myself, which is a priceless gift. It taught me that my experience is valid and the way I feel is valid. It allowed me to share my knowledge of social justice and the way that it connects to my own experience. The experience was priceless to me, and I miss it every day of my life. It made me realize that law isn't the path for me; I want to directly combat oppression and social disadvantage by going to the very start, the public school system. I finally feel at home in my own skin and my own identity, and that's something I wouldn't give up for the world.